How interactions and stances can affect a system?
January 4, 2007 § 3 Comments
With low self esteem we behave in blaming, placating, super-reasonable or irrelevant ways. When using open communication we’re congruent with our selves, and we can level out (the amplitude).
Communication and stances
The more we learn to (re)cognize stances and their finer shades, the better and faster we can level out our responses when, as we humans tend to have happen to us, we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of incongruence (again). Quite a balancing act and lots of practice, practice, practice ….
With a lack of esteemed communication in our system, our rules become hidden, outdated, inhumane, written in stone. A likely effect is that people change their needs to conform to established rules. Some may believe that a good idea. In the long run, it leads to Only Might being Right. With open communication, the rules are clear to all, up to date, change as the need arises, and people noticeably practice the five freedoms and will comment on anything that attracts and repels them, in congruent ways.
You can make your own agreements of course. These seem to agree with reason and conducive to the good and benefit of one and all to me:
The First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word
The Second Agreement: Don’t take anything personally
The Third Agreement: Don’t make assumptions
The Fourth Agreement: Always do your best and lastly
The Fifth Agreement: Be skeptical, but learn to listen
With hidden rules written in stone, results will be accidental, chaotic, destructive and unfitting. In a congruent system, with open communication on rules, agreements and contracts, and with transparent strategies, the results will be in the flow – we can easily surf chaos.
- Threat, Tension, Risk and Damage (Part Two) from Age of Ravens (ageofravens.blogspot.com)
- Five Fastest Methods to Build Self Esteem (socyberty.com)
- How to Look Congruent During Communication (socyberty.com)
- Tips to Avoid Over Congruence in Communication (socyberty.com)
- Does low self-esteem enhance social pain? The relationship between… (citeulike.org)